Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
