is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
