I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
