just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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