I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
