and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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