I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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