I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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