i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
