so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
