If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
