I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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