I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
