Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
