He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
