i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
