I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
