mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize