Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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