I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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