capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
smell my finger.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
