Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
