I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Randomize
