The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
