I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
