Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
In other news, I just burned my penis
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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