So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I need moral support for this bender
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
