4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize