he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
