You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
In America we eat man semen.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My bed smells like the plague
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
