why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
third nipple confirmed
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
