What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
