Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
