I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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