so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
