guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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