Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize