Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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