At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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