So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Everclear isn't food dammit
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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