why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
