Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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