Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Even my vagina gasped.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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