i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
