Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
