Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
