But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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