You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
