My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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