I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
