i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
