I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
