You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
