"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Randomize
