you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
