Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh god it's open bar.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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