Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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