Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize