I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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