I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
