I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize